my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
His nipple licking is glorious
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