he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
