I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
