This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
