You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
