no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
