Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
My penis needs a shock collar
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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