She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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