dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
