Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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