We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
