And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
