He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Let the clothes fall where they may.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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