I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I think your dad took our porno
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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