and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
