I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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