Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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