ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize