I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
