he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
