I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
