My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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