Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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