fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
