who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
are you so shy because you have an std?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
