need another drink. this is the easiest way
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
