now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
