The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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