doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
COCAINE IS GR8
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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