I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
We left the knife in your bed.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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