IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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