Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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