could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
