College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Randomize
