I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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