3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
