Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
