if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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