I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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