He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
