oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
