my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
whose ass print is on the piano?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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