Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
