4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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