Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize
