If i come over, it means nothing
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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