terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
