seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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