Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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