Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
