Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
