i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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