just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
