During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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