i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
