This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
