There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
