I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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