Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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